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T A B L E _ T A L K Have you met anyone online? Can romance be maintained via Eudora? Discuss sex, love and relationships online in the Digital Culture area of Table Talk R E C E N T L Y Suicide watch on the Net By David Cassel When chat room participants say they're going to kill themselves, what should service providers do? (08/20/98) Wired: The book By Andrew Leonard A former Wired insider lands a contract to tell the magazine's rise-and-fall saga (08/20/98) A bug too far By Janelle Brown In Ultima Online, fed-up players carry a crusade from the fantasy world into a real-life courtroom (08/19/98) Master of allusion By Scott McLemee A philosopher creates a video game about Las Vegas (08/18/98) New life for old buzzwords By Scott Rosenberg "Interactive Excellence" argues for new standards to make sense of the media onslaught (08/17/98) - - - - - - - - - - BROWSE THE 21ST CHALLENGE ARCHIVES - - - - - - - - - - _______

CHALLENGE NO. 12 RESULTS | PAGE 1, 2 - - - - - - - - - - On waiting Have to take pauses: work will wait -- Geir Sørensen How the time passes while we wait ... -- Boris Gutman How time trickles past when waiting watchfully -- Kevin Best Horribly turgid text proliferates while we wait -- Steve Leahy Hours to transfer pictures? What wasted wattage! -- David Demko Head to this place! Whoops! Wrong wait. -- Joanna Walsh High technology takes patience -- we wait willingly -- Matt Breaden - - - - - - - - - - HTTPorn How to trap people who want women -- Adrian J. Chung Human touch too precarious, worrisome. We withdraw. -- Claire Johnson Halt the turgid penis! Washington wants wholesomeness. -- Josh McCormick "Here's the truth, pal: We want women!" -- George L. Mirus and Julia Mara Hot to trot; pornography with willing women. -- Michael Thelen Holy tit torture, PoohBear! Whip wildly, Winnie! -- Evan Bos - - - - - - - - - - Hark, 'tis that poetry? We wouldn't wager Hi! This tale portrays why women weep ... He thought that people would want weapons, hoped that the peacemakers would win wars, hated the terrible pains, wounds, welts, waste. Have these things persisted while we watch? Hopeless ... this torment pervades, why? why? why? Hi! This try perhaps will win wealth! How these things play wearily with words. However this trivial pursuit will work wonders. Hmm ... truly, these pathetic words were worthless! -- Natasha Curry Holy technobabble! Typical people would wonder why. Here, technology touts porn. Weird, wacky world. -- Sean Timberlake How tragic that people would waste words! Has this travesty provoked wisdom, Web wankers? Here's to tripe prevailing. Whither wit, wiseguys? Highbrow tricks turn pale when wisdom's wanting ... -- Dan McGarry - - - - - - - - - - How do you say "://" ? How to terminate people : *slash-slash, whack, whack, whack* -- Geir Sørensen How to treat perforated colons? Slash. Slashing will work wonders. -- Arthur Stock Here Treads Tony Perkins: Slash! Slash! Wah! Wah! Wah! -- Douglas Smith - - - - - - - - - - The true nature of the Web? How to trap people with wide-open wallet -- Brad Johnson Hold the telephone, please, we're wacky Webfiends! -- Aina Rudman Hoping that the paperless world will work. [I had two other ideas, but I lost the napkin I wrote them on. Strangely ironic.] -- T.J. Gabbour Hoping to turn profitable: when, when, when? -- Tom Wanat Hot trivial tripe proliferates: worry, world, worry ... -- Bob Wright How to trick people who want wisdom -- Rise Keller How to totally pick what we want -- Brad Ciaverelli Hop to this page whenever we want -- Richard Spencer How to travel passportless? With Web wings. -- Howard Margulies Here's the top place within the whole Web -- Tim Reynolds Holy Toledo! This protocol won't ... won't ... won't ... -- Jack E. Chambers How to take part: world's weirdest wasteland -- Jon Bowen - - - - - - - - - - Our top story "Hell," thought the president. "Wonder who's watching?" -- Barnaby Hume He touches temps' privates while wife Whitewaters. -- Steve Clapp Hillary trivializes the president's wicked womanizing ways -- Richard Bergquist He told truth? Please! Well, would we?????? -- Eloine Chesnut - - - - - - - - - - In other sports Homer title! Three players with wonderful whacks. (Hoping to take prize with writing witticisms.) -- Cynthia VanSwearingen Hot teenage tennis players walloped Wimbledon's women -- Kurt Nelson - - - - - - - - - - The good, the bad and the uncategorizable Having trouble thinking pointedly -- Wait ... Where's Waldo? -- Tim Beigle Here, take this product, which we warrant. -- Bob McLatchie Have to take precautions with Wonder Woman -- Seymour Nemer Heloise? Take this precaution: Wash windows weekly -- Gerry Cohen Hell teaches the people: Wickedness won't win -- Amy Greer Hail to the President Wendell W. Wilkie -- Arthur Stock Hate the twenty-eighth president: Why Woodrow Wilson? -- Wilson Fowlie Hunting Toon Top Priority://Wound Wascally Wabbit -- Elmer Fudd and Robert Ellman Thanks for your submissions -- and check back in two weeks for the next Salon 21st Challenge. SALON | Aug. 21, 1998 Charlie Varon is a humorist and playwright. His works include "Ralph Nader Is Missing" and "Rush Limbaugh in Night School." Jim Rosenau is a writer, editor and software designer in Berkeley, Calif. Jim and Charlie are also co-founders of the citizen group Californians for Earthquake Prevention and partners in Mockingbird Productions, which offers a full line of comic services.