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R E C E N T L Y

I serviced the president and all I got was this lousy Martha's Vineyard souvenir
(08/18/98)

Swinging with the sodomites
(08/04/98)

Why American athletes don't kiss and hug like soccer stars
(07/21/98)

Linda Tripp, the White House's ghoulish bad conscience
(07/07/98)

I'll take religion over gay culture
(06/23/98)

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A L S O

About Camille Paglia
Ask Camille archives

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C O L U M N I S T S

Sexpert Opinion
By Susie Bright
School for scandal
(08/28/98)

Bestseller Hell
By Jon Carroll
Hamburger Hades
(06/16/98)

Left Hook
By Joe Conason
Here comes Newt!
(08/24/98)

Right On!
By David Horowitz
Repressed memory syndrome
(08/31/98)

Lovers and Writers
By Garrison Keillor
How do I handle being the Antarctic stud?
(08/26/98)

Under the Covers
By James Poniewozik
Monica 2: This time, it's for the money
(08/18/98)

Second Thoughts
By Sallie Tisdale
Crossing to safety
(08/07/98)

American Squirm
By Sarah Vowell
Fear of flying
(08/24/98)

Unzipped
By Courtney Weaver
Probing men's anal fixation
(08/26/98)






Salon Columnists

A S K_C A M I L L E +|+ C A M I L L E+P A G L I A
--- Online advice for the culturally disgruntled ---

Illustration by Zach Trenholm


Male troubles: Bill Clinton, Matt Drudge and Mark McGwire








Dear Camille:

Since President Clinton's quasi-confession on national TV, I have been troubled by the language with which many well-known national commentators have described the apparent sex act between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Various people have described it as "repulsive," "cowardly," "a low moral act," "disgusting" and even worse. What gives? I don't find that any of those words apply to sex between consenting adults, even if one of the adults is the president. What am I supposed to be disgusted by?

People seem to have conveniently forgotten the fact that this relationship was never meant to see the light of day. Ms. Lewinsky, in her affidavit, denied the affair. Mr. Clinton, sometime later, denied the relationship in his deposition. So far, so good. It is only when the grotesque Linda Tripp shows up that this even becomes an issue.

The "moral outrage" I read about in various columns by pundits across the land seems to be entirely manufactured. I don't know anyone (and I know a lot of people) who is morally outraged. I can only conclude that these people (Maureen Dowd, George Will, David Broder, et al.) have more to gain by keeping this thing going and that the level of "outrage" evinced by them is hardly reflective of the general American republic, which seems on the whole more sophisticated and temperate than any media person in the country.

-- F.C. Dudley



Dear Camille:

Now that Monica Lewinsky has graced the pages of Vanity Fair, do you think she will make the cover of Cigar Aficionado? The rumors of her masturbating with a stogie (unlit, I assume) while our pres. finished himself off would make her a likely candidate, don't you think?

-- Enjoying the show in St. Joe, Mo.



Dear F.C. and Enjoying:

We're in a hazy twilight zone of rumor and half-truth at the moment. Until independent counsel Kenneth Starr submits his long-overdue report to the Judiciary Committee of the U.S. House of Representatives, no one can be certain about the range and specificity of its account of President Clinton's indiscretions or purported misdeeds.

Salon's international readers should be informed that the cigar story, spread via the Internet in the week after the president's national address on Aug. 17, immediately became a veiled ribald joke among talk-show hosts, comedians and political commentators. It remains to be seen whether the story will stand up to scrutiny -- including its elaborate geopolitical mise en scène, where PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat was allegedly waiting for a powwow while the president and his odalisque du jour romped in a study off the Oval Office.

The first thing that struck me about this piquant tale is that, if true, it represents yet another example of the administration's hypocritical tobacco policy, which privileges luxury cigars for Bill and his country-club coterie but forbids simple smokes to anxious teens. If Monica keeps this sort of thing up, her rosy little bottom will be ripe for the same maladies as the inflamed mucosa of oral cancer. Since the vagina dentata seems to be self-petting Bill's secret fear (or backstage spousal reality), it's no wonder he flings it a fat chaw, like a nicotine sop to Cerberus. Those who find the Clintonian satyriasis interruptus a mark of enviable "virility" aren't looking very closely at the sad little details.

Yes, Washington insiders -- who obviously know more about Starr's report than they can print or say on air -- have been resorting to a striking panoply of quaintly coded language ("repulsive," "disgusting," etc.) to describe Clinton's inappropriate workplace escapades. I am particularly irritated to hear those terms flowing so glibly from the mouths of pampered, peroxided, wet-behind-the-ears conservative pundettes whose limited life experience and history of naked ambition hardly qualify them for postures of moral outrage.

Rather than invoking morality -- which implies absolutes enforced by a transcendent creator -- I prefer to speak of ethics, a rational system of social conduct rooted in Greek philosophy. Ethically, in my view, there is much to blame President Clinton for -- from his violation of the spirit of sexual harassment policy to his bold-faced, one-on-one lying about the Lewinsky liaison to loyal supporters like Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who recently declared her faith in the president's credibility to be "badly shattered."

However, it is still unclear whether Clinton has committed an impeachable offense. Most Americans seem to feel that removing a duly elected president from office is far too politically and psychologically disruptive. I may have been the first commentator, in the early weeks of this scandal, to call for congressional censure rather than impeachment. That symbolic act is punishment enough for a president so focused on his place in history.

Pressure for resignation would surely come from nervous Democrats rather than Republicans, who know that their best chance of regaining the White House in the 2000 election is to keep a wounded Clinton in place. If only we had a stronger foreign-policy team, there would be little risk in Clinton's muddling on to the end. But I have very little confidence in that cynically partisan paper tiger, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, or our primly professorial secretary of defense, William Cohen (who could moonlight as a hand-holding Ivy League assistant dean), or that stammering, dyspeptic butterball, National Security Advisor Sandy Berger -- of whom my partner Alison said last week, "I wouldn't trust him with a water balloon." Clinton sure can't pick 'em.

But with all that said, I join the ranks of those deeply suspicious of the motivation and methods of the present independent counsel, whose autocratic powers are not constitutionally based and whose staff seems out of control. The nation has less to fear from a weepy, aging adolescent perverting the Oval Office with his tittering, diddly-weenie games than from a disorganized, soulless, plastic-pussed, burrowing gerbil like Ken Starr.

Dear Camille:

What do you think of gay and lesbian couples adopting children? This issue seems to cut deepest into the fabric of American sexual identity and personal freedom. How do we begin to dissect and understand the complexities of this issue, which involves government legislature, the sanctity of marriage and the most powerful, emotional, and romantic of all American ideals: the safety and welfare of children? And where do you see homosexual adoption fitting into an agenda of gay activism?

-- Curious



Dear Camille:

Recently, the governor of Utah mused during a press conference that polygamy, which has been outlawed there since 1890, might actually be protected in a religious context by the First Amendment. He caught hell for this from the local establishment, including the (nowadays) virulently anti-polygamist Mormon Church. Although I am not a polygamist, my great-great grandfather, one of the early Mormon pioneers, had at least eight wives. Polygamy was banned by federal law in the 1880s, and was prohibited in Utah by the Mormon Church after 1890. Nowadays, the politico-religious establishment in Utah has nothing but disdain for the few thousand excommunicated Mormons who practice polygamy.

However, I have come to like the idea of polygamy. It enables an alpha male to have sexual variety without violating the sanctity of marriage. It permits multiple women to share the resources of a wealthy man. Contrary to popular belief, the wives of polygamists usually become close friends, and have been known to propose to nubile young women to bring them into the marriage. The wives look after each other and after each other's children, eliminating the need for day care. The list of advantages goes on and on. Yet everyone with whom I discuss the subject seems repulsed by the idea.

-- Pro-polygamy




Dear Curious and Pro-polygamy:

A close friend of mine was one of the first gays in the United States to challenge the institutional hostility to gay adoptions. After several years of frustrating delay and struggle, when it seemed he might have no other recourse than to file a career-endangering lawsuit, he succeeded (in the early '80s) in adopting a child from abroad.

Adoption should be a global strategy for the care of the orphaned or indigent. If gays can give lifelong emotional and material support to a needy child, I fail to see how government agencies may legitimately oppose it. On the other hand, private or religious adoption organizations have the right to refuse gay clients, and government should not intrude with its own liberal agenda.

Every child should ideally have (here I depart from most gay activists) both a mother and a father, who make distinct and perhaps irreplaceable contributions to psychological development. But that ideal is not always possible, and nostalgia should not cloud our sense of children's urgent needs. For most of human history, in fact, it was not the nuclear but the extended family that did the child-rearing. In large families even today, older siblings assume much of the parental role.

We don't really know whether the great social experiment of gay parenting will work in the long run or not. At least another generation will be needed to assess the results. But heterosexual-headed families are themselves in turmoil, with many young people visibly suffering anomie and depression and medicating themselves with mind-numbing drugs. In the 200 years since the industrial revolution, Western culture has been slowly evolving toward new forms of social affiliation that have weakened the traditional bonds of family and clan. Is this utopian growth or decadent disintegration?

Gay activists who call for the legal recognition of gay marriage have been remarkably silent or prudish about polygamy, an ancient practice that I wholeheartedly support. The Mormon Church, under pressure during Utah's 19th century campaign for statehood, regrettably abandoned its endorsement of polygamy, which was ultimately grounded in biblical chronicles of the tribal Hebrew patriarchs. As with gay adoption or gay unions (I avoid the inflammatory term "marriage"), I think that civil government has no intrinsic right to define or police the quantity and kind of consensual private relationships.

Polygamy may indeed be a rational and humane answer to the increasing problems of aging women, who are often discarded at midlife by their still procreatively potent husbands. In this era of quickie divorce and sexual instability and isolation, polygamy could reconstruct the community of the old extended family in ways that directly benefit children as well as the elderly. Let's give it a shot!



N E X T_P A G E | Matt Drudge, spunky role model for today's processed youth



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