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R E C E N T L Y

Oscar frumps
(03/22/99)

Harvard's date-rape idiocy
(03/17/99)

Revisiting "The Golden Bough"
(03/10/99)

Broaddrick charges are 21 years too late
(03/03/99)

Butler vs. Nussbaum
(02/24/99)

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A L S O

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C O L U M N I S T S

Sexpert Opinion
By Susie Bright
Shave the world!
(03/19/99)

The Reluctant Capitalist
By Heather Chaplin
Singing the union blues
(03/19/99)

Left Hook
By Joe Conason
The skeleton in the GOP's China closet
(03/23/99)

Unspun
By Steve Erickson
Get that damn martini outta my face, punk
(03/31/99)

Right On!
By David Horowitz
Kazan: Who betrayed whom?
(03/29/99)

Mr. Blue
By Garrison Keillor
We may have to wait six or seven years to have sex -- is that OK?
(03/30/99)

Word by Word
By Anne Lamott
Is that all there is?
(03/19/99)

Media Circus
By Susan Lehman
$400,000 misunderstanding
(03/25/99)

On Television
By Joyce Millman
"Futurama": That 31st century show
(03/22/99)

Under the Covers
By James Poniewozik
I can't get arrested in this town!
(03/30/99)

Let's Get This Straight
By Scott Rosenberg
From Agenda to Zoot
(03/23/99)

Home Movies
By Charles Taylor
"Trees Lounge"
(03/29/99)

Second Thoughts
By Sallie Tisdale
Tell me the truth
(03/25/99)








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A S K_C A M I L L E +|+ C A M I L L E+P A G L I A
--- Online advice for the culturally disgruntled ---

Illustration by Zach Trenholm

Elizabeth Dole is not man enough to be president








Dear Camille:

Any interesting commentary on Elizabeth Dole's potential run for the White House?

Lana Sharp

Dear Ms. Sharp:

We desperately need more women running for high office in the United States. While they have distinguished themselves as governors, senators and university presidents, women are still badly underrepresented at the top corporate and military ranks -- and of course in the Oval Office, where they have recently been relegated to the role of secretary, slut or spousal nag. No matter what the outcome, a well-managed campaign by a woman for the presidency would give all American women increased visibility and credibility throughout the professional and political worlds.

At the 1996 Republican Convention, which awarded her husband the presidential nomination, Elizabeth Dole made a sensation by tripping the light fantastic in her high heels down the podium steps and, wired for sound, threading gaily through the astonished crowd, at whom she cooed and beamed with practiced Southern charm. She broke the rules of the game and showed how traditional womanliness could be reconciled with gutsy, in-your-face boldness. "The wrong Dole is running," one heard and read everywhere.

Hence what a disappointment it was to witness the painful debacle of Elizabeth Dole's pro forma announcement in Des Moines, Iowa, on March 10 of an exploratory committee to study her presidential possibilities. Befuddled by reverse sexism, the major media bent over backwards to avoid honest commentary -- a paternalistic condescension that all true feminists should resent and deplore.

The awful truth was perfectly evident on C-Span: A tense, awkward and frumpy Dole didn't bother varying her 1996 routine, which she has plainly done way too often on the pricey after-dinner lecture circuit. Her performance was shockingly hackneyed -- the descent from the stage, the saluting of people by name, the patronizing pat on the shoulder as Glinda the Good Witch flitted by. Unfortunately, Dole didn't factor in that the front rows into which she sailed this time with her plastered-on smile would be packed with cynical, slouching reporters, who couldn't conceal their boredom.

The whole event, carefully staged for media coverage, looked horrendous on camera -- like that amateur play mounted in a high school auditorium on "The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour," discombobulating campily fuming guest-diva Tallulah Bankhead. Dole's kick-off fiasco inevitably suggested what went wrong with her husband's presidential campaign, when the Republicans were pathetically outgunned by the far more media-savvy Democrats (a scenario that would recur when the Republicans misplayed their hand in their blundering pursuit of guilty-as-sin President Clinton).

Long before she launched this bid, Dole needed a makeover -- new hair, new clothes and new speechwriters (does she have any?). Using people as props -- in this case, a sweetly baffled 12-year-old African-American girl, whom Dole moved around like a piece on a chessboard -- may arguably if retchingly work for speakers in major venues, like nominating conventions or the State of the Union address, but Dole clearly didn't have the improvisatory theatricality or the production staff to carry it off. She got no bang for her buck.

At this inaugural moment, in any case, it was absolutely crucial that she appear statesmanlike. We already know, from her tenure as head of the Red Cross, that she can tote that bale of symbolic bandages to the masses; she has the compassion plank nailed down tight. But if any woman is to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate, she must show she can hack it as commander in chief. Hence gravitas and substance are in order.

I have constantly argued in my writing and lectures (as at West Point in 1997) that we must restructure higher education to give women the fact-based background in international politics and military history and tactics that will fit them to lead nations. Women's studies, with its victim-oriented provincialism, is the last damned thing that ambitious female students need.

If Elizabeth Dole couldn't plan a simple press conference to showcase herself with dignity, it's pretty unlikely she'll be able to earn respect as a major player on the global stage, where hard decisions have to be made about the use of American military power. By ill luck, Dole's announcement also occurred at the moment thunderclouds were gathering over Yugoslavia. She looked too small, too uncertain and too chirpy to have warheads put under her control.

I write this as multimillion-dollar missiles and bombs are falling yet again, unleashed far from America's bustling, indifferent shopping malls and decaying inner-city schools, which can't even afford books. How, in this century of Picasso's great 1937 protest painting, "Guernica," can American and European bureaucrats still so blithely order terror tactics from the air? Barbarism deployed against tyrants makes us equally barbaric.

By clumsily antagonizing an economically and politically unstable Russia, the "humanitarian" intervention in Kosovo by NATO (pushed along by Clinton's inept foreign-policy team) runs the terrible risk of destabilizing the world for two more generations. Welcome to the new millennium!



N E X T_P A G E | Busty Rose McGowan vs. scrawny Gwyneth