Welcome to the Dark Hotel, Salon's unique contribution to both noir comics and the real new world order. The Hotel currently slumbers in a pleasant out-of-season state not unlike that of the resort which Jack Nicholson & family found so enjoyable in "The Shining," but behind its placid (if filthy) exterior there is a whirlwind of activity. On Friday, July 23, the Hotel kicks off its third season with an extraordinary story based on the life of the man you Hotel hangers-on have come to know and love -- Drago Drugilovic, our night manager. Drago, you see, is from Kosovo, and some strange stuff went down there a couple of years ago that led him to go back home. There was this beautiful Serbian girl ... but we'll let Drago tell you when he's good and ready.

In the meantime, feel free to wander around the place. Cop an ashtray. Ignore those spectral figures leaning up against the bar door. There are now five complete Hotel tales -- featuring such unusual guests as the ghost of William S. Burroughs, a low-rent, tattoo-covered pimp and his two-bit ho', and a a terrifying tale from the '30s Munich demimonde -- only a click or two away from where you languish now. Check them out -- and say hi to Drago on your way in. A little gift -- a couple of grams, a ticket to the local lap-dancing emporium -- always brightens up his day and may prevent anything from happening to your car.

See you in the Hotel! As Fats Waller once said, "this joint be jumpin' again soon enough."

The Management