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COUP KOOK CLAN
Newt's "loyal" deputies tried to overthrow him -- and failed. Who cares? As long as the Republicans keep serving up the same worthless ideas, the American people won't care who's running the GOP. you won't hear this too often, so listen good. I was wrong. That's right, I was wrong a few months ago when I praised Republicans in a piece in the Los Angeles Times for standing behind Newt Gingrich even after he admitted to lying to Congress. I'm not totally disavowing what I wrote. I still believe Democrats could learn something from the Republicans' display of loyalty back then. As I see it now, the easiest way to clear out a room of Democrats is to drop a feather in there. Maybe in the future Democrats won't be so quick to cut loose their party's leaders at the faintest whiff of a scandal, before even knowing if the allegations are true. But I should have known better than to give Republicans so much credit. It didn't take long for the bubble of Republican loyalty to Gingrich to burst. That happened a couple of weeks ago, when news reports revealed that four of Gingrich's own top deputies -- Majority Leader Dick Armey, Majority Whip Tom DeLay, Conference Chairman John Boehner and Leadership Chairman Bill Paxon -- were plotting to overthrow him. As if it weren't bad enough that the four of them got caught with their daggers dangling in the wind, they then proceeded to blame each other for the failure. In the end, it was Paxon they offered up as the fall guy, forcing him to step down from his leadership role in order to appease Newt. Now, I understand that ever since Gingrich was assessed a $300,000 fine for breaking the rules of the House his grip on power has been tenuous at best. But I have to admit, I was a bit surprised that this Gang of Four would have the audacity to undertake such an ambitious plan. I mean, what made these guys think they were ready for prime time? What more evidence do you need that none of them was fit to succeed Newt than their own bungling of the coup? Well, in case you're not convinced these guys have no business leading the GOP, let's take a closer look at who these conspirators are. First, you've got Dick Armey, who claims his only role in the attempted coup was to make Newt aware of it. Others involved in the secret meetings say that Armey backed out only after he realized Paxon, not he, would succeed Newt. Armey's troubles with the truth are now legendary. He's the same guy who used to go around telling people how he was friends with a mildly retarded janitor named Charlie who lost his job because the minimum wage was increased. That, of course, was until a reporter tried to track down Charlie only to find that "Charlie" was a figment of Armey's imagination. I ask you -- if a man is willing to lie about a retarded janitor, what would he tell the truth about? Then there's former exterminator Tom DeLay (really, he was), who came up with the brilliant idea of allowing lobbyists to write legislation affecting their interests because, as he said, "they have the expertise." Don't forget that John Boehner got caught handing out checks from tobacco lobbyists to his colleagues while they were conducting business on the House floor. That leaves you with Bill Paxon, who not only isn't much interested in legislation, but was described in his own hometown paper as having "all the smoldering, raw male sexuality of Howdy Doody." Need I say more! Well, I have some advice for all you Republicans out there. As a card-carrying member of the Democratic Party, I encourage Republicans to continue to think that getting rid of Newt will solve all your problems. I strongly recommend that you continue to believe that it is your messenger and not your message that the American people are rejecting. I'm sure the American people agree with Republicans that tax breaks should go to the rich rather than to hard-working Americans struggling to get by. The American people clearly believe, with Republicans, that slashing programs for our children's education is a good thing. And the American people are definitely with Republicans when they would allow corporate polluters to foul our air and water in the name of "deregulating" business. The last thing Republicans should believe is that the American people have rejected their ideas. I promise you, if Republicans take my advice and continue to believe it's their leaders, not their ideas, that are at the heart of their party's troubles, they won't have to worry about fighting each other for the House Speakership in 1998. It'll be the Democrats who will have that honor.
Are the American people fed up with the Republican message, as Carville argues, or with the messengers? Chew it over in Table Talk.
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