BY ANDREW RICE

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Editor's note: When Andrew Rice married Lisa Palac on April 25, 1997, the wedding vows the couple penned for themselves stole the show. Andrew's vows in particular had the guests (well, the female ones at least) sniffing and sighing. Sometimes there's no substitute for tradition -- as long as you take it way, way back. Andrew Rice has graciously permitted Salon to reprint his wedding vows in our special tribute to Tarzan. x o x o x o x o x o x o x o x o When I sat down to write my wedding vows I struggled, like I suppose most men do in this situation, to find the words to wrap around my love for you. I felt inarticulate. Everything I wrote came out "me Tarzan, you Jane." Then it dawned on me that "Tarzan of the Apes" was one of literature's great love stories and that the symbolism of an apelike guy and a beautiful woman swinging off into the wild jungle is probably appropriate for this union. In the scene where they first meet, Tarzan tells Jane, "I am Tarzan of the Apes. I want you. I am yours. You are mine. We will live here together always in my house. I will bring you the best fruits, the tenderest deer, the finest meats that roam the jungle. I will hunt for you. I am the greatest of the jungle hunters. I will fight for you. I am the mightiest of the jungle fighters. When you see this you will know that it is for you and that Tarzan of the Apes loves you." It's hard to beat that for it's succinct heartfeltness, but I'll try: If I'd tried to imagine this love before I met you it would have been impossible, but when I did meet you and fall in love it was as obvious as the nose on my face. I remember calling my best man Chris about a week after you and I met. I was giddy and crazy with love and infatuation and Chris, being a good friend, was scared for me. He questioned me: "How can you be so in love if you've only known her a week? You hardly know her." I told him about your courage, your fierceness, your intelligence and your beauty. I told him how you just instinctively understood things about me and I did the same with you. Things we'd always had to explain to others. That we wanted so many of the same things from life. I told him how much I admired your work and your principles. I told him I thought you were the one, that I knew you were. "Wow," he said. "She sounds really amazing. I guess there's nothing to do but full speed ahead." Almost two years of full speed ahead later, here we are getting married. It turns out my first instinct was right. You are the one. Lisa, I'm so thrilled that you've chosen to marry me, that we're going to grab this vine, swing off into this jungle, make a life together. You've taught me so much and brought me so much joy and beauty and I promise to do my best for you. I want you. I am yours. You are mine. We will live here together always in my house. When you see this you will know that it is for you and that Andrew Rice loves you. June 6, 1997 Andrew Rice is a writer living in Santa Barbara, Calif. For his mother's sake he wore shoes to the wedding.