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even a cynical art-house rat like me has to admit that the academy did a very respectable job of nominating some exceptional films for this year's Oscars (OK, so I wouldn't vote for "Jerry Maguire," but I might consider him as an agent). However, unlike the Olympics, where new sports are sanctioned faster than you can say "Nerf bowling," there are many worthy categories that remain unrecognized. To give them their just desserts, I have taken it upon myself to single out a few of 1996's food-related cinematic highlights: Best reason for a coffee break: "Fargo" Most innovative new food combo: "Sling Blade," for biscuits and mustard Best reason we have health inspectors: "Trainspotting," for the pub toilet Best new way to bring a cow to slaughter: "Twister" Most appealing dish you won't be attempting to make at home: "Big Night" for Timpani Best reason to start eating meat again: "Mother" for the Jurassic refrigerator Most romantic use of American pie since Don McLean: "Michael" Best fuel for a summer BBQ: "Secrets & Lies" for the secrets Best dinner music: "Big Night" (the first song on the soundtrack is worth the price of the whole CD, and then some) Most dramatic use of canned ham: "The English Patient" As you might suspect, I was a little biased in favor of "Big Night." To honor Primo's unwavering standards and passionate Italian cooking, I would like to share my new favorite spontaneous pasta recipe with you. It's a cinch to make and it doubles or triples effortlessly if you plan on inviting friends over to watch the awards. I think Primo would approve. WALNUT PASTA DI MOMENTO (Serves 4) 1 teaspoon salt 6 tablespoons olive oil 1 cup walnuts, chopped as finely as possible 10 cloves garlic, diced finely 5 medium shallots, diced finely 2 cups lightly packed Italian parsley leaves, finely chopped 1 orange, finely zested (use zest only) 1 lemon, finely zested (use zest only) 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 4 servings of pasta (I use fresh angel hair pasta -- but then, I use it for almost every sauce) 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese 1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. 2. In a sauté pan, over medium-high heat, add 4 tablespoons of the olive oil. Once oil is hot, add walnuts, garlic and shallots. Sauté for approximately 10 minutes, or until garlic and shallots are a light gold color (about the same shade as the walnuts). 3. Add parsley, zest, pepper and remaining oil. Sauté for 2 more minutes. 4. Cook pasta according to directions. When pasta is cooked, drain quickly but DO NOT SHAKE OUT EXCESS WATER, and return wet pasta to the sauté pan. Toss thoroughly in pan. 5. Serve in warmed bowls and top with parmesan cheese and a sprig of Italian parsley. Le Secret: In step 2, stir ingredients frequently and avoid overcooking garlic, or it will become bitter. The Adventure Club: Open your own restaurant Suggested Accompaniment: Salad and crusty bread Music To Cook By: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, "Big Night" (of course!), TVT Records Wine: Italian Chianti Post-Oscar Movie Tip: The best-kept movie secret so far this year is "Waiting For Guffman." It's the "Spinal Tap" of community theater, featuring alumni from "Spinal Tap" and "Second City TV." The Surreal Gourmet gives it two eggs over easy. March 19, 1997 A R C H I V E S Previous 5 articles: Hail Caesar Salad! (03/12/97) Flambéed Pineapple à la Mode (03/05/97) Tequila Shrimp Taco (02/26/97) $20 Dinner Party (02/19/97) Chocolate Climax (02/12/97) The Surreal Gourmet archive The Surreal Gourmet's Web Site is located at http://surrealgourmet.com. New Bookmark: http://www.salonmagazine.com/food/surrealgourmet.html