WORD'S WORTH BY AMY WALLACE The first person to e-mail us with the correct answers will win a $25 gift certificate from Borders Books & Music.

Reflections on the fine art of fake cussing i first encountered phony cursing in childhood when grown-ups spelled out bad words instead of actually saying them, as in, "Pardon my French, Alice, but that sister of yours is a B-I-T-C-H." (This trick never fooled me -- I was always a sharp speller.) I had a teacher in high school who solved the problem with a rubber stamp bearing the initials "P.T.E." -- Pardon The Expression -- which he affixed to expletives whenever he corresponded. The favorite method, of course, beloved of people in all walks of life (except sailors, longshoremen, sea captains and other people with aquatic jobs) is to substitute lukewarm slang for the real thing. Examples are "gosh darn" for "god damn," "heck" for "hell," "oh, poo" for "shit," "fiddlesticks" for "fuck it" and so forth. The problem is an old one. In 1878 Sir W.S. Gilbert wrote in "H.M.S. Pinafore" about how not to say "damn": "Though 'Bother It' I may Occasionally say I never use a big, big D." The third method of phony cursing is to use initials. My first memory of it is my mother exhorting me to "do a B.M." (It took me years to figure out what these initials stood for. I might still be wrong.) Some initials are such common parlance that they stand on their own as strong stuff: "Cut the B.S.!" or "F.U., you F-ing S.O.B." Others are more obscure. Can you identify the following? 1. B.F.D. 2. C.Y.A. 3. S.O.L. 4. O.P.P. 5. O.T.R. 6. S.B.D. Answers: 1. Big Fucking Deal As in, "She left you again? B.F.D.!" 2. Cover Your Ass As in, "You're screwed in this office if you don't C.Y.A." 3. Shit Out of Luck As in, "Too late -- we're closed. Guess you're just S.O.L." 4. Other People's Pussy or Other People's Penis As in, "He got into O.P.P. last night." This is relatively new slang of rap origin meaning, "he had sex." 5. On the Rag As in, "Don't fuck with her, she's totally O.T.R." This reference is to a menstruating woman's bad mood -- "the rag" being slang for a sanitary napkin. It can also be used to refer to an irritable man: "What are you, O.T.R.? Excuse me for living!" 6. Silent But Deadly As in, "Who cut the S.B.D.?" This refers to a soundless but really smelly fart. THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE: 1. Match these vernacular descriptions with the foods they describe: 1. Limping Susan 2. Jolly Boys 3. Shoo-fly Pie 4. Grunt 5. Cape Cod Turkey 6. Barefoot Bread 7. Hush Puppies 8. Snickerdoodles 9. Fandaddies 10. Dirty Rice 11. Pigs in Blankets 12. Hoppin' John 13. S'mores 14. Crawdads A. Fat-fried corn bread balls B. Fried clams C. Cinnamon sugar cookies D. Doughnut holes E. Black-eyed peas and rice F. Crayfish G. Fruit dessert and dumpling topping H. Codfish balls I. Poultry giblets and rice J. Hot dogs wrapped in crust K. Corn pone L. Rice and okra M. Egg, molasses, brown sugar pie of Pennsylvania Dutch N. Toasted marshmallows, chocolate squares, graham crackers 2. The following is prison speak for food. Match the word with the food item. 1. Chalk 2. Punk 3. Bombs 4. Stinkers 5. Sand 6. Mystery 7. Dago 8. Gospel Bird A. Onions B. Bread C. Macaroni D. Milk E. Chicken F. Sugar G. Eggs H. Meatloaf Are your answers and other information all filled in? Then press the SUBMIT ANSWERS button below. This quickly sends your answers back to Salon. There is no need to press this button twice. Please enter your e-mail address Please enter your full name May 23, 1997 Amy Wallace is the co-author of many books, including "The Book of Lists," and the author of "The Prodigy," a biography, "Desire," a novel and Salon's Listress quiz. She lives in Los Angeles.