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R E C E N T L Y

Bed rest sucks
By Kristin Wiederholt
Excessive vomiting, boredom and the other joys of bed rest
(10/05/98)

Falling for Tiger Woods
By Erin J. Aubry
Sportscasters may have abandoned this young wonder, but I'm still by his side
(10/01/98)

A mother's guide to gunk
By Lisa Moskowitz
Help! I've got Silly Putty stuck in my eyebrows and it won't come out!
(09/30/98)

Her siren thong
By Shelley Youngblut
Eve had her apple. Monica had her thong
(09/29/98)

Uh-oh, Spaghettios
By Danny Miller
Health food junkie: A single dad's obsession
(09/28/98)

BROWSE THE MOTHERS WHO THINK FEATURE ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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PRINCESS MONICA | PAGE 1, 2
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Any woman who grew up Jewish and has had the term "JAP" hurled at her recognizes the stereotype in what we know about Lewinsky. The term "Jewish American Princess" is being bandied about, alongside "slut," "nut" and "bitch," when our conversation turns (and when doesn't it?) to Monica. Taken together, the external, superficial signs of her princessdom -- she is affluent, well-coiffed, zaftig and spends a lot of time on the phone -- and her cunning, manipulative streak, documented in the Starr report and the Tripp tapes, may well tarnish the image of Jewish women everywhere.

In the Starr report, Lewinsky admits that she asked the president to find her a good job, one she wouldn't have to work for: "I just want it to be given to me." With that, Monica fulfilled the most insidious of the Princess stereotypes: the idea that she was entitled. She wasn't qualified for a high-paying, above-entry-level position, but no matter -- somehow, she felt she deserved one, perhaps because she was wronged by the president, or maybe because she was just used to getting her way. In either case, I'm reminded of my high school, where plenty of Jewish girls were mocked for the apathy that came with privilege. "She got into college because her father donated some building," they said of one Ivy League-bound girl. "How did she get an A in that class when all she does after school is shop?" they wondered about another Jewish classmate.

Add to Monica's entitlement the reports of her utter manipulation of the president toward the end of their relationship (when she threatened to reveal their affair if he didn't hook her up with a job), and the stereotype is even more fleshed out. Like the Philip Roth-ian Jewish mother who smothers her child to the point of suffocation, Monica wouldn't leave the president alone. She became obsessed. She threw a tantrum at the White House when she learned the president was visiting with another young woman. She complained about her placement at the Pentagon because it was too far away from her sweetie. And in an attempt to insinuate herself into the president's thoughts, she would arrive at his public events sometimes hours early to get a prime spot. This strategy makes me think of my grandmother, who, on big sale days, would arrive at Bloomingdale's an hour early so she would be the first one through the door. (To be fair, Monica also represents a more benign, nurturing Jewish mother. After all, she showered the president with gifts and even brought him food during the government shutdown. Perhaps this is the Semitic version of the Madonna-whore complex?)

In my high school -- and I can only imagine what it's like now with cell phones -- JAPs were known as serious gabbers, gossips. We all know that if it wasn't for Monica's big mouth and her Princess phone, we wouldn't be in this mess. Her endless conversations with anti-friend Linda Tripp reveal an enormous capacity for inane girl-talk about diets and shopping. Again reinforcing some of the most insidious stereotypes of Jews, Monica offers to buy Tripp's silence, saying she will sell her stake in a condominium and give Tripp the money if she will remain mum. And, last week, Oprah Winfrey turned down an exclusive interview with Monica because she demanded money for her story. (Roseanne -- who is also Jewish, by the way -- was ready to cough up $1 million or more to sit down with our fair lady Lewinsky, but the deal fell through Monday.)

The joke goes like this: How can you tell if a Jewish American Princess has an orgasm? She drops her nail file. According to the Starr report, Monica dropped her nail file -- so to speak -- twice during her sexual liaisons with the president. But with this, she finally defies one tenacious JAP stereotype -- that of the frigid lover. Monica was downright provocative, teasing the president with a peek at her thong underwear, grabbing his crotch in a meet-and-greet line, going down on him on demand. Perhaps this will be Lewinsky's great contribution to Jewish womankind, the emancipation of her sisters from their perceived state as neurotic prudes. To wit, this month's Cosmopolitan boasts the cover line "His Sexual Moan Zones: Bedroom Tricks Even Monica Lewinsky Doesn't Know About." The boys I grew up with used to joke that Jewish girls had the biggest breasts -- if you were lucky enough to cop a feel. They also said that while JAPs might go down on them, these girls were spitters, not swallowers. To swallow was too dirty, too messy, too risky. Obviously, they never met Monica.
SALON | Oct. 6, 1998