T A B L E_ T A L K

Mother always said ______, and it was true. Pass along your parents' wisest advice in the Mothers area of Table Talk

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R E C E N T L Y

I want you so bad
By Carol Lloyd
Now that our president has confessed to adultery, will the American people follow him to the pillory?
(08/26/98)

Drama Queen
Green eggs and Spam: Meals that make kids barf -- and other culinary delights
(08/26/98)

The heat is on
By Lisa Moskowitz
Soothe your savage summer beast
(08/25/98)

Black like (white) me
By Janet McDonald
"A Hope In The Unseen" tells the story of an inner-city black kid at Brown -- through the eyes of a white author who tries to channel him
(08/24/98)

A melody of his own making
By Beth Kephart
My child needs me too much
(08/21/98)

BROWSE THE SECOND THOUGHTS ARCHIVES

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Salon Columnists

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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ANONYMOUS FORCES ARE ROBBING ME BLIND, AND CUSTOMER SERVICE IS TELLING ME TO DROP DEAD.

BY SALLIE TISDALE | I read my bills carefully these days. My telephone company, U.S. West, provides me with a bill often several pages long, broken down in the abbreviated style of computer coders everywhere by "chg" and "srv." A few months ago, I noticed a charge of $14.41 on the last page labeled "Consumer Access," a name I didn't recognize. At the top of the page was a logo for "US Billing" and 1-888 number.

It wasn't easy to get through ("Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received"), but when I did, I found out "US Billing" is merely a kind of collection service for more than 200 essentially unregulated long-distance carriers of various types. They passed me along. Eventually ("We are experiencing an unusually high volume of calls"), I found a company that had issued a long-distance credit card to someone who had given them my telephone number as his own.

Well, OK. No, it wasn't that easy. The woman on the other end of the line -- I finally got her name but still have no idea where she was, what state she was in -- didn't think it was her problem. I suggested that her company might want to check whether or not the numbers given are legitimate. She said, and I do quote, "We have thousands of customers, ma'am. We don't have time to check them out."

She wanted me to just pay the bill and stop complaining.

So I didn't, and eventually the charges were credited to my account. I thought we were done -- until the next month and the month after, when I found charges for a few dollars here and $10 there labeled "Telco Partners Serv Chge," under the logo for "US Billing." I reached my old friend eventually ("All circuits are busy now"), and she informed me -- rather tartly, I think -- that her company is not Telco. Back to US Billing. On to Telco?

I think not. I tried ("Please call back; we are unable to access that number at this time") but finally went back to U.S. West. That is how I found out, after a time ("Please hold; your call is important to us), that I'm in trouble. So are you, if you have a telephone. A reasonably nice fellow I found eventually told me that his company is required by the government to provide "billing opportunities" for fly-by-night companies in unknown locations and that I am required to pay my bill. That some of my charges are fraudulent is not his problem and not the problem of U.S. West. Unless I want to go delinquent with my phone company, I had better pay up.

N E X T+P A G E: Hey, it's just a few bucks