D R A M A++Q U E E N

Are you a slut, a slob or a sleazebag? Share your shame in Drama Queen for a Day
(04/14/98)

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T A B L E++T A L K

What movies to you recommend for kids ages 12 to 15? Share your favorites in the Movies area of Table Talk

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R E C E N T L Y

How many working fathers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
By Elizabeth Rapoport
Dad helps out? Sure. Try this test
(04/24/98)

America's war on children
By Joan Walsh
"The War Against Parents" that nobody can win
(04/23/98)

The happy prisoner
By Lori Leibovich
Because of Whitewater and Kenneth Starr, she may not be seeing the outside world for the next several years, but Susan McDougal regrets almost nothing
(04/22/98)

A death in the family
By Joyce Millman
Linda McCartney, 1941-1998
(04/21/98)

Paving the road to Yale -- or Palookaville
By Albert Mobilio
Public vs. private school
(04/20/98)

BROWSE THE WILD THINGS ARCHIVE

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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FLY GIRL | PAGE 2 OF 2

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Taking Lily along has made for some interesting situations that they didn't teach me about in flight school. Diaper changes, for example, have to be fast because the best position is to drape the baby across the pilot's and co-pilot's laps. Also, it's best to make a note in your flight plan, "baby on board." That way, air traffic controllers are wise to the occasional background wailing while you're chatting with them on the radio. 

And you can never have too many wipes or Ziploc bags. After all, you can't pull over to empty the trash. And you can't open the windows in flight to air the plane out. The seat pockets in our plane used to hold maps, wrenches and flight checklists. Now they're stuffed with snacks, crayons and slightly crumpled Kleenex.

We've had our share of unexpected developments. I can't really blame Lily for the one time she got airsick. It was a windy afternoon and I was sliding and skidding the plane all over the place, trying to hold to a particular angle of descent to land at Raleigh-Durham International Airport. First Lily screamed, which was pretty disconcerting. Then she barfed. Fortunately, I was the one flying, which left my husband on nurse duty. But somehow, I ended up with the raunchy car seat in the airport, which hardly fit my macho self-image. Can you see Amelia Earhart huddled in an airport ladies' room, furtively rinsing vomit from a flowered velour seat cover? Hardly. 

Like most glamorous adult activities, flying loses some of its thrill when a small child is involved. Before Lily, my husband and I used to wake up in the morning, stretch and say, "Hey, let's fly out to the beach and go for a swim." Now, our life isn't quite that decadent. There are diapers and juice boxes to be packed, a big plastic car seat to be wrestled, a fussy toddler to be soothed. Out at the airport, one pilot checks and prepares the plane while the other corrals the child to keep her from dashing out onto the runway. 

Things get more complicated in mid-air, where my husband and I swap pilot and co-pilot duties. In our glamour days, the pilot flew the plane and the co-pilot navigated. But there are a few extra cockpit distractions with a child, particularly when diapers are involved. So now the pilot flies the plane and the co-pilot entertains and cleans the passenger. 

And yet, I'll never give up our family flights. When I see Lily yanking that yoke around and chattering into the intercom, I realize how limitless the world of a 2-year-old girl is. She doesn't know that only 6 percent of pilots are women. All she knows is that flying is really, really fun. And she can do it. 
SALON | April 27, 1998

Phaedra Hise is a contributing writer to Inc. Magazine and author of "Growing Your Business Online."