To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People July 23, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/07/23/bradley Bill Bradley: Achingly funny and profound Dish-lovin' gal stumped by stilted Stepford candidate. Plus: More proof there is no God: Survey shows the Donald nearly in a dead heat with Mini-Bush. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter For a guy who's supposed to be dull as a politician's standard-issue blue suit when it comes to public speaking, Bill Bradley sure can pack a room. Tickets for the Democratic presidential hopeful's lunchtime speech at the National Press Club Thursday, announced in advance to focus on campaign finance reform (group yawn! 1, 2, 3 ...), sold out durn near as fast as a New York Knicks playoff game, so people like yours truly, who didn't get around to calling to make reservations until two weeks before the event, were stuck in the press gallery, gazing down on heads (some bald, some with, uh, interesting toupees, many gray) and plates of pale pink poached salmon. Talk around me centered -- appropriately enough -- on Bradley's surprisingly successful grass-roots fund-raising efforts. ("The Web site got a mention on Leno, and the next morning $16,000 in small contributions came in," chortled the sizable fellow, at least as big around as Bradley is tall, next to me.) The campaign war story swapping paused for a brief round of polite applause when Bradley entered the room (nothing as rousing as the "Go, Pat, go" reception of a few months ago, I'm afraid). Looking tall, tanned and majorly mellow, the former senator, pro basketball player and -- I believe I'm legally required to mention this -- Princeton grad and Rhodes scholar warmly greeted those brave enough to approach, including a couple of sweetly star-struck little boys, and picked daintily at his salad. (Next time I forego the luncheon fare for a bird's-eye view, remind me to bring a turkey drumstick, will ya?) By the time C-Span's cameras set to rolling and Bradley was introduced as someone all politicians look up to (har-har), it was standing-room-only even in the gallery, a fact that wasn't lost on our man from New Jersey by way of Missouri. "Jesse Ventura was the last person here to draw this kind of crowd," wryly observed the former senator. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment." Bradley dished out a little hard-won sports wisdom -- a historic botched shot will always remind him "when things are going real well, remember there are times when they don't" (that's deep, Bill, very deep) -- before tucking into a speech that seemed to go on longer than a lengthy final quarter of an NBA game. The audience sat rapt and silent as Bradley mused about big money vs. the little guy, rustling only a little when the former senator alluded to the evil residual effects of Newt Gingrich's corrosive nastiness. But things didn't heat up much until the question and answer session. Would Bradley consider being Al Gore's running mate in 2000? "No." What about Republican National Committee Chairman Jim Nicholson's allegations that Bradley's a big hypocrite who has always milked the system for all its worth? "Sounds very much like something the chairman of the Republican National Committee would say." If he had been president these last four years, what would he have done differently? [Laughter] "I don't really think I have to answer that." [More laughter.] Man! Such a sage, carefully scripted candidate is enough to make a dish-lovin' gal long for the old MTV-gets-out-the-vote days of "Boxers or briefs?" To which, according to an old 1996 campaign joke well worth reviving, oldster Bob Dole answered, "Depends." - - - - - - - - - - - - Trump Daddy in Chief? Between hourly dispatches from the Republican National Committee, my fax machine has just spat out this little political tidbit: A voter survey conducted by that most august political publication, the National Enquirer (move over, New Republic and Weekly Standard), has found that Donald "Trump Daddy" Trump would trounce Veep Al Gore and nip at the heels of Georgieboy Bush in a three-way race. The Enquirer claims its tally (the survey's methods and scope were not disclosed -- for all we know, they contacted only voters looking for an in on some prime New York real estate) -- Bush, 39 percent; Trump, 37 percent; Gore, 24 percent -- supports a recent classic Trump Daddy boast, "If the Reform Party nominated me, I would probably run and probably win." Guess the Reform Party Convention in Dearborn, Mich., this weekend will tell the tale, but I gotta say, I'd pay good money to watch the Donald jump into a ring to wrestle it out with Reform grapplers Jesse Ventura and Ross Perot. I can hear the color commentary now: "It looks like The Donald is going at the Body and All Ears with -- is it? It is! Marla Maples' shoe!" salon.com | July 23, 1999