To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Nov. 16, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/11/16/np1116 Shave me Sharon Stone's close shaves with dairy; Dubya gets 2-D for "King of the Hill"; Christina Ricci, not fat; and ... Porn again? Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez bring the Mitchell brothers to the screen in "Rated X." - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter And you thought all that crossing and uncrossing was bad. In the December Esquire, Sharon Stone brings basic instincts to a whole new level. The actress weighs in on one thing she thinks a guy oughta do before he dies: shave a woman's legs. "You've got to ask yourself why," she proclaims. "Why do I want to shave a woman's legs? Why do I want to know how? Why haven't I fantasized about this before? Do other guys fantasize about this?" Accessories to your crime of passion? Stone recommends whipped cream, fruit, chocolates and a bit of bubbly. "Don't be afraid to taste the fruits of your labor," she counsels. Nothing like a mouthful of hairy whipped cream. - - - - - - - - - - - - Poor Richard's Almanac "Food to me is sex ... I mean, sex is so overrated. I don't think I could get a better orgasm than when I teach a class for 5,000 people." -- Richard Simmons on his sexual disinterest, in the upcoming Us magazine. - - - - - - - - - - - - Candidate of the Hill? Is a little animated campaigning in Arlen, Texas, in George W. Bush's future? "King of the Hill" co-creator Greg Daniels sure hopes so. Daniels says the show's writers are working on an episode in which Hank Hill debates whether to vote for Bush in Y2K -- and then finds himself up close and personal with the Texas gov. "He'd really like Mr. Bush to play himself," says 20th Century Fox Television spokesman Paul Gendreau, "but no agreement has been signed." Refuse such a rare opportunity to reach the fruit-pie-lovin' vote? That boy ain't right. - - - - - - - - - - - - And his breath's fresh, too! "The man has palpable sex appeal and is much taller and slimmer than I'd expected. He also has wonderful breath." -- Joan Collins, hyperventilating about her first encounter with President Clinton. - - - - - - - - - - - - Thin, old and Zen calm? Christina Ricci wants to clear up a thing or two: 1) She's no tubbo: "I'm not fat. At all. Maybe short, but not fat," she tells Movieline magazine. "For the past two months, every magazine I've opened has had something about my body type. It's silly. I weigh 105 pounds and wear a size 2." 2) At 19, she's no longer a child: "I certainly hope I'm not still answering child star questions by the time I reach menopause," she recently griped in the New York Daily News. The "Sleepy Hollow" star also says she's "less into being angry" than she used to be. And if you don't believe her, you can just shut up! - - - - - - - - - - - - That explains it "They were drinking." -- Jerry Springer on why several high-ranking Ohio Democrats wanted him to run for U.S. Senate, on "The Tonight Show." - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Here's one for the art-imitating-life files: Charlie Sheen and his brother Emilio Estevez will star as the porn-peddling Mitchell brothers in Showtime's "Rated X." "I wouldn't describe them as sleazy," Sheen recently told TV Guide. "They were pioneers in a counterculture business." Has Heidi Fleiss been feeding him lines or what? Say it ain't so. Scotland's Daily Record is reporting that the end is near for Sean Penn and Robin Wright's 10-year marriage. "They can't be in the same room without all hell breaking loose," one friend of the couple told the paper. "They're definitely talking divorce." Stop gloating, Madonna. Scary thought of the day, Arnold Schwarzenegger times two. The pectoral king says he'd happily go into politics, if science did its part to make that possible. "I've been offered it many times, to run for Congress or for Senate or for governor," he told CNBC's Tim Russert on Saturday. "The only think is that I wish we could do a cloning, because then there could be two people. Then I would definitely say yes, I'm interested in it." Dolly the sheep, what have you wrought? Young man, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah ... The Village People have just released a "millennium remix" of their 1978 hit "YMCA" in the U.K.; a portion of sale proceeds will be donated to the institution the song celebrates. Now they'll really have everything that you need to enjoy as you hang out with all the boys. Planning to spend New Year's Eve with Dick Clark as usual? Plan again. The suits at ABC apparently think the brink of Y2K is much too serious to entrust to Mr. New Year's Rockin' Eve and have allotted him a mere 20- to 30-minute pre-Times Square ball-drop slot. Peter Jennings will pick up Clark's slack in the hours leading up to the new millennium. "This is a huge journalistic opportunity," ABC's Tim Yellin told the AP. I guess in Dick Clark's case, Y2K stands for "You're too kitschy." salon.com | Nov. 16, 1999