To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Dec. 17, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/12/17/np1217 Rack of hams Jann Wenner jams, Yoko Ono swings ... it must be office party season. Plus: Boy George narrowly escapes death by disco ball! - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter It sounds like an office holiday-party nightmare: The boss gets onstage with his pals and cranks out classic-rock hits. But if Wenner Media magnate Jann Wenner deserved the hook as he crooned and strummed "Rainy Day Woman," "White Room," "Misunderstood" and "Love Me Tender" at the Roxy in New York on Tuesday night, his employees aren't saying. "It was fun," one party attendee told me. "The best part was watching the people in the audience. On one side of the stage you had Yoko Ono swing dancing and on the other side you had guys from the mailroom getting down. [MTV's] Kurt Loder and G.E. Smith [of 'Saturday Night Live'] were at the sides, really getting into it." Wenner was joined onstage by members of his staff -- a researcher, a contributing editor and Austin Scaggs (Boz Scaggs' son, an editorial assistant) on bass. For the finale ("Like a Rolling Stone," of course), Lenny Kravitz sat in on drums. The motley musical crew dubbed themselves "Rack of Lambs." Funny, that's just how some former Wenner serfs described what it feels like to work there. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Wrinklemaster "When you're close to me, it's clear I haven't had a facelift." -- Suzanne Somers, revealing that she's "strangely proud" of her wrinkles, in the upcoming USA Weekend. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Get this woman a bib! Look out, Stella McCartney and Brigitte Bardot. Drew Barrymore may just have one-upped you in the animal-rights spokesceleb department. In an upcoming Us magazine interview, the blond actress cops to a little claw obsession. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about saving all the little lobsters in restaurants," she confesses, "particularly the ones that are in fish tanks 50 feet from the ocean. It must be like purgatory for them." Barrymore aims to return them to their ocean home, but she'd be more inclined to purchase their freedom than to "just stride up and take them," she says. "Imagine me being arrested for that," she marvels. "I can see the mug shot of me with my arms raised, a lobster in each hand." Crustaceans everywhere breathe a sigh of relief. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Downey's shower scene "I think of you a lot lately, Jodie, especially in the shower." -- Robert Downey Jr., phoning from prison, at the American Cinematheque's Moving Picture Ball honoring Jodie Foster. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Boy George's oft-sung "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" is starting to sound strangely prescient. Earlier this week, the cross-dressing '80s icon was nearly crushed by a giant disco ball that fell from the ceiling during a sound check for a show in the U.K. "It would have been both ironic and glamorous to be finished off by a 4-foot glitter ball," the singer told the British Sun. He was treated for shock and severe bruising -- mostly to his ego. Is Garth Brooks fixin' to hang up his 10-gallon hat for real this time? At a taping of the TNN show "Crook & Chase," the country star says he's ready to ditch fame and fortune for the good of his family. "My babies come first," he said of his daughters, ages 3 and 7. "I think I'll probably announce my retirement at the end of the year." Just so long as he doesn't A) redirect his energy into his rock-and-roll alter ego, Chris Gaines, or B) try that baseball thing again. The greatest electoral swindle: Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren has announced that he'll join the London mayoral race. His platform includes legalizing brothels and installing them across from the Houses of Parliament "so when the bell comes for them to actually vote, they can rush across after having got laid." He also advocates legalizing marijuana and letting people drink in libraries. Talk about anarchy in the U.K. Guess a spoonful of sugar doesn't help the medicine go down when your livelihood's at stake. Julie Andrews is suing Manhattan's Mount Sinai Hospital and two doctors for malpractice for rendering her singing voice perpetually raspy in a botched operation. "If you heard [her voice]," Andrews' husband, Blake Edwards, said last year, "you'd weep." The hills may never be alive with the sound of music again ... salon.com | Dec. 17, 1999