SCENE: Before the back bathroom.

Alarums. ENTER Drama Queen for the Day, Husband, Nicholas the Baby, and Valentine the Dog, with cleaning implements.

D. QUEEN: Once more into the bleach, dear friends, once more;
Or clean the wall up with our Old English Furniture Oil!
In peace, there's nothing so becomes a mother,
As strenuous work and utility;
But when the blast of panic blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the ostrich;
Stiffen the spine, summon up the patience,
Disguise the irritation with a comely face:
Then plunge the head into the sand of benign tolerance ...
Hold hard the sense of humor, and bend up every spirit,
To its full height! On, on, you noble Mothers,
Whose backs are bent from the demands of your families!
Show us here the mettle of your spirit; let us swear
That you are worth your health insurance; which I doubt not!
For there is none of you so tired and cross,
That have not the spark of humor in your eyes.
I see you stand like Hondas in the lot,
Reliable and dependable upon the start. The babe's afoot;
Follow your offspring: and, upon this charge,
Cry -- God for Mommy! Baby! And the House!

Exeunt. Alarum; and chambers go off.

Catherine Salton
Acknowledged Drama Queen
Sept. 23, 1997

S A L O N