Salon Urge | The gentlemanly art of spanking

T H E_.H O T_.S P O T
Is it sex, or is it art?
By Janelle Brown
In Austria, right-wingers take aim at a Net arts group for peddling porn
(08/06/98)
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Satisfy all your intellectual urges at barnesandnoble.com!
___________________

R E C E N T L Y
Two concepts of sexual hysteria
By Linda R. Hirshman and Jane E. Larson
The Democrats offer "Boogie Nights," the Republicans "The Crucible." Can we change the channel?
(12/24/98)
The shipping nudes
By David Steinberg
Why have certain postal services decided to become arbiters of obscenity?
(12/10/98)
Sade off
By Molly Weatherfield
The man who became history's most notorious pervert was no picnic to live with, either
(11/19/98)
Two hard men are good to find
By Rona Marech
Women's smutty little reading secret is sending black homoerotic literature to the top of the charts
(11/05/98)

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THE GENTLEMANLY ART OF spanking
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urge image When women turn
the other cheek,
what are they asking for?

BY CARSON FITZGERALD
In my early 20s, I bought a book called "The Intimate Kiss," a tract on the art of cunnilingus, which I studied diligently in hopes of becoming a great lover. Over the years, I read other books on lovemaking techniques and, on the whole, have left behind many well-loved, satisfied women. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging: I am suggesting that the men reading this article can consciously improve their love lives by learning a few things and paying attention to their partners.
Despite my studies, I never gave spanking much thought and I was totally unaware of the generation and transmission of erotic power inherent in the act. Although I always enjoyed pictures of women in leather and rubber fetish gear, the actuality of bondage, submission, discipline seemed quite scary. Spanking, giving and receiving, was relegated to "too kinky" whenever I thought about it, which wasn't often.
The first time I spanked someone, it was not out of erotic play or intent. My then-wife and I were having a terrible argument. Our marriage was almost over -- actually it had been for a while. The passion was gone, she wanted me to move out. For a couple of years, sex had been perfunctory at best.
We were in the bedroom. She was being absolutely unreasonable and would not listen to me. Out of sheer frustration, I grabbed her, threw her over my knee and administered a thorough bare-handed disciplining ... after which she jumped up, attacked me and tore off my clothes. We had the hottest, most passionate sex we had had in years.
The connection between the two acts was not lost on me. But I was too busy suffering through our separation and divorce over the next couple years to think about it much.
I belong to a small mailing list on the Internet dedicated to analog synthesizers, their upkeep, market value, use, repairs, modifications: traditional Internet geek speak, in other words. For the most part these discussions remain tame and technical, but several years ago, an Australian named Robin Whittle, legendary in synthesizer circles for the modifications he developed for a little synth known as the Roland TB-303, reminded me of my spanking experience with a rather unorthodox letter he posted to the list.
At first the letter seemed unremarkable -- he was describing the genesis of his modifications, the intent and the results. And then, as the piece progressed, odd tidbits popped up. Discussing the TB-303 as fetish, he wrote: "Some people have to have the pure, original machine, so they can sound like their heroes. This is fetishism of a boring, narrowing kind." (Fetishism, presumably for Whittle, is fine when it leads to fresh combinations -- as in, I have a substantial collection of exotic corsetry and bonzai trees.)
We hadn't seen anything like this on the list before. Whittle developed the spanking/discipline/synthesizer theme for the rest of the piece, stressing the erotic act of pushing one's synthesizer to its limits.
"Investigate feedback loops [in the studio] and tweak them beyond stability. Dim the lights, flex your arms, turn on the tape-recorder, and deliver the punishment your studio/synthesizer needs to find its true voice -- wailing into new musical territory."
On visiting his Web site, I discovered several lengthy essays about spanking, discipline, masculinity, as well as the TB-303 and various and sundry other topics. Whittle's interest is not so much in spanking as erotic foreplay, although that is part of it, but as a necessary component of male-female relationships. The implication in his writings is that women by nature get out of line and men must assert themselves for the health of the relationship, because they care for and love their women.
N E X T+P A G E | Strange turf: Stopping short of O.J. Simpson

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T H E_.H O T_.S P O T Is it sex, or is it art? By Janelle Brown In Austria, right-wingers take aim at a Net arts group for peddling porn (08/06/98) ___________________ Satisfy all your intellectual urges at barnesandnoble.com! ___________________ R E C E N T L Y Two concepts of sexual hysteria By Linda R. Hirshman and Jane E. Larson The Democrats offer "Boogie Nights," the Republicans "The Crucible." Can we change the channel? (12/24/98) The shipping nudes By David Steinberg Why have certain postal services decided to become arbiters of obscenity? (12/10/98) Sade off By Molly Weatherfield The man who became history's most notorious pervert was no picnic to live with, either (11/19/98) Two hard men are good to find By Rona Marech Women's smutty little reading secret is sending black homoerotic literature to the top of the charts (11/05/98) - - - - - - - - - - Browse the Urge archives - - - - - - - - - -		THE GENTLEMANLY ART OF spanking _________________- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When women turn the other cheek, what are they asking for? BY CARSON FITZGERALD In my early 20s, I bought a book called "The Intimate Kiss," a tract on the art of cunnilingus, which I studied diligently in hopes of becoming a great lover. Over the years, I read other books on lovemaking techniques and, on the whole, have left behind many well-loved, satisfied women. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging: I am suggesting that the men reading this article can consciously improve their love lives by learning a few things and paying attention to their partners. Despite my studies, I never gave spanking much thought and I was totally unaware of the generation and transmission of erotic power inherent in the act. Although I always enjoyed pictures of women in leather and rubber fetish gear, the actuality of bondage, submission, discipline seemed quite scary. Spanking, giving and receiving, was relegated to "too kinky" whenever I thought about it, which wasn't often. The first time I spanked someone, it was not out of erotic play or intent. My then-wife and I were having a terrible argument. Our marriage was almost over -- actually it had been for a while. The passion was gone, she wanted me to move out. For a couple of years, sex had been perfunctory at best. We were in the bedroom. She was being absolutely unreasonable and would not listen to me. Out of sheer frustration, I grabbed her, threw her over my knee and administered a thorough bare-handed disciplining ... after which she jumped up, attacked me and tore off my clothes. We had the hottest, most passionate sex we had had in years. The connection between the two acts was not lost on me. But I was too busy suffering through our separation and divorce over the next couple years to think about it much. I belong to a small mailing list on the Internet dedicated to analog synthesizers, their upkeep, market value, use, repairs, modifications: traditional Internet geek speak, in other words. For the most part these discussions remain tame and technical, but several years ago, an Australian named Robin Whittle, legendary in synthesizer circles for the modifications he developed for a little synth known as the Roland TB-303, reminded me of my spanking experience with a rather unorthodox letter he posted to the list. At first the letter seemed unremarkable -- he was describing the genesis of his modifications, the intent and the results. And then, as the piece progressed, odd tidbits popped up. Discussing the TB-303 as fetish, he wrote: "Some people have to have the pure, original machine, so they can sound like their heroes. This is fetishism of a boring, narrowing kind." (Fetishism, presumably for Whittle, is fine when it leads to fresh combinations -- as in, I have a substantial collection of exotic corsetry and bonzai trees.) We hadn't seen anything like this on the list before. Whittle developed the spanking/discipline/synthesizer theme for the rest of the piece, stressing the erotic act of pushing one's synthesizer to its limits. "Investigate feedback loops [in the studio] and tweak them beyond stability. Dim the lights, flex your arms, turn on the tape-recorder, and deliver the punishment your studio/synthesizer needs to find its true voice -- wailing into new musical territory." On visiting his Web site, I discovered several lengthy essays about spanking, discipline, masculinity, as well as the TB-303 and various and sundry other topics. Whittle's interest is not so much in spanking as erotic foreplay, although that is part of it, but as a necessary component of male-female relationships. The implication in his writings is that women by nature get out of line and men must assert themselves for the health of the relationship, because they care for and love their women. N E X T+P A G E \| Strange turf: Stopping short of O.J. Simpson - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Become a Salon member. Click here.