Salon Wanderlust | The Surreal Gourmet

T O D A Y
Esther Dyson, road warrior
By Don George
The Net's most frequent flyer shares her travel secrets wanderlust
Eating around in Boston
By Larry Smith
The way to the heart of Boston is through its stomach
The Surreal Gourmet
By Bob Blumer
Don't let El Niño come between you and a good meal
Mondo Weirdo
Old McDonald had a farm -- in Ecuador
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Your virtual travel agency
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LA S T+W E E K
Tuesday, Oct. 28, 1997

Your money's no good here
By Tim Cahill
Travels in a cashless culture
Browse the
Wanderlust archives

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the Surreal Gourmet

weather the storm
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DON'T LET EL NIÑO COME
BETWEEN YOU AND A GOOD MEAL.
THE SURREAL GOURMET
Until recently, I wasn't buying the pandemonium that linked every anomaly to the impending arrival of El Niño. Then eight feet of October snow fell on Denver, the stock market took a major nose dive and a 5-year-old expansion team won the World Series. Now I sleep in a rubber dingy and brace for the atmospheric Armageddon.
Being on disaster alert is business-as-usual for residents of Southern California. We've seen just about everything -- which is why the prospect of a new calamity is so seductive to our jaded sensibilities. We've also learned that mass destruction has a silver lining. After the '95 Northridge earthquake, life-affirming casual sex was rampant, longtime neighbors finally met one another and everyone had a perfect excuse not to go to the gym.
Don't let a little torrential flooding and a lack of power or running water ruin your day or come between you and a fine meal. When the big wave leaves you stranded, pay tribute to the El Niño gods with a rice dish inspired by our neighbors in South America, the region most likely to bear the brunt of El Niño's wrath. The whole meal can be made over any makeshift fire using only a Swiss army knife and staple goods from your cupboard. Come to think of it, why wait?
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EL NIÑO SURVIVAL RICE DINNER
(Serves 6)
Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves fresh garlic, minced, or 1 tablespoon dried garlic or garlic powder
1/4 cup of anything from the onion family, diced, or 1 tablespoon dried onion flakes
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/3 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon dried thyme
1 tablespoon paprika
2 cups any available rice
1 bottle of water
1 - 2 chicken bullion cubes
1/2 cup any available canned peas, carrots, beans, corn and/or raisins
Tabasco sauce, or any other hot sauce, to taste
Substitute any missing ingredients with whatever you can find in your pantry, or anything you can trade your neighbors for. If necessary, barter with items from your emergency kit (see below).
1. Heat oil in a pot over any handy flame. If you have fresh garlic and/or onions, cook them first for about 3 minutes, or until the first hint of gold color appears. If you are using dried garlic and onions, simply stir them in the oil for 15 seconds.
2. Add red pepper flakes, cumin, thyme and paprika. Stir for 30 seconds to release the flavors.
3. Add rice and stir thoroughly for 30 seconds.
4. Add 4 cups of water, bullion cubes, canned veggies and/or raisins. Cover, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes, or until rice is tender.
5. Serve immediately with hot sauce.
Le Secret: Stockpile raisins. They add a sweetness that makes the dish.
The Adventure Club: Invite some neighbors you have never spoken to.
Note: More is better. Add everything you can scavenge.
Music to Cook By: With no power, you'll be singing the blues
El Niño emergency kit:

A bottle of single malt scotch
Condoms (don't forget to check the expiration date)
Chocolate
Candles
Matches
Cigarettes

SALON | Nov. 4, 1997
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Illustration by Bob Blumer (aka The Surreal Gourmet)
Browse the Surreal Gourmet Archives
The Surreal Gourmet's Web Site is located at http://www.surrealgourmet.com.


T O D A Y Esther Dyson, road warrior By Don George The Net's most frequent flyer shares her travel secrets wanderlust Eating around in Boston By Larry Smith The way to the heart of Boston is through its stomach The Surreal Gourmet By Bob Blumer Don't let El Niño come between you and a good meal Mondo Weirdo Old McDonald had a farm -- in Ecuador - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Your virtual travel agency - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - LA S T+W E E K Tuesday, Oct. 28, 1997 Your money's no good here By Tim Cahill Travels in a cashless culture Browse the Wanderlust archives - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -		weather the storm - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - DON'T LET EL NIÑO COME BETWEEN YOU AND A GOOD MEAL. THE SURREAL GOURMET Until recently, I wasn't buying the pandemonium that linked every anomaly to the impending arrival of El Niño. Then eight feet of October snow fell on Denver, the stock market took a major nose dive and a 5-year-old expansion team won the World Series. Now I sleep in a rubber dingy and brace for the atmospheric Armageddon. Being on disaster alert is business-as-usual for residents of Southern California. We've seen just about everything -- which is why the prospect of a new calamity is so seductive to our jaded sensibilities. We've also learned that mass destruction has a silver lining. After the '95 Northridge earthquake, life-affirming casual sex was rampant, longtime neighbors finally met one another and everyone had a perfect excuse not to go to the gym. Don't let a little torrential flooding and a lack of power or running water ruin your day or come between you and a fine meal. When the big wave leaves you stranded, pay tribute to the El Niño gods with a rice dish inspired by our neighbors in South America, the region most likely to bear the brunt of El Niño's wrath. The whole meal can be made over any makeshift fire using only a Swiss army knife and staple goods from your cupboard. Come to think of it, why wait? - - - - - - - - - - - - EL NIÑO SURVIVAL RICE DINNER (Serves 6) Ingredients 2 tablespoons olive oil 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced, or 1 tablespoon dried garlic or garlic powder 1/4 cup of anything from the onion family, diced, or 1 tablespoon dried onion flakes 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes 1/3 teaspoon ground cumin 1 tablespoon dried thyme 1 tablespoon paprika 2 cups any available rice 1 bottle of water 1 - 2 chicken bullion cubes 1/2 cup any available canned peas, carrots, beans, corn and/or raisins Tabasco sauce, or any other hot sauce, to taste Substitute any missing ingredients with whatever you can find in your pantry, or anything you can trade your neighbors for. If necessary, barter with items from your emergency kit (see below). 1. Heat oil in a pot over any handy flame. If you have fresh garlic and/or onions, cook them first for about 3 minutes, or until the first hint of gold color appears. If you are using dried garlic and onions, simply stir them in the oil for 15 seconds. 2. Add red pepper flakes, cumin, thyme and paprika. Stir for 30 seconds to release the flavors. 3. Add rice and stir thoroughly for 30 seconds. 4. Add 4 cups of water, bullion cubes, canned veggies and/or raisins. Cover, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes, or until rice is tender. 5. Serve immediately with hot sauce. Le Secret: Stockpile raisins. They add a sweetness that makes the dish. The Adventure Club: Invite some neighbors you have never spoken to. Note: More is better. Add everything you can scavenge. Music to Cook By: With no power, you'll be singing the blues El Niño emergency kit: A bottle of single malt scotch Condoms (don't forget to check the expiration date) Chocolate Candles Matches Cigarettes SALON \| Nov. 4, 1997 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Illustration by Bob Blumer (aka The Surreal Gourmet) Browse the Surreal Gourmet Archives The Surreal Gourmet's Web Site is located at http://www.surrealgourmet.com.